Reflections on Entering 2012

This is kind of in line with my last entry, after my Garden State revelation.  I have been thinking the last couple of days about the new year.  I was considerably less pensive this holiday season that I usually am.  I am notorious for spending the last month of the year reflecting on how the year has gone and what I want to do in the next year.  I haven’t really done that until after Janary 1st.  I would of course like to think that I should make resolutions, but I haven’t written any down.  I have found that as much as I like to make lists, I actually get more done when I just do it instead of spending the time to write it down.  I think 2012 is going to be different, not because of my usual optimistic ideals, but because it HAS to be.  I am nearly done with school.  Whether I”m ready for it or not, I WILL finish my thesis and graduate in May, which means that I will HAVE to get a “big girl job” which means it will be easier to save money so it’s possible to move out of my parents’ house.  I almost feel like I don’t need resolutions because 2012 is sort of a built-in game changer or something.  I have been so ready for such a huge change for so long that I am convinced that 2012 is going to be amazing.  Stressful, busy, crazy, and intense for sure, but amazing nonetheless.  That’s where I’m at tonight.  I defend my thesis one week from today, and that will be the true starting point where all of this change is going to begin.  One more week, and I am free from my major academic responsibilities, and I am LOVING it!

…So What Do We Do?

I think my life just changed a little bit.  So much so that I turned on my computer at 12:30 in the morning so I could blog about it and talk it out.  For Christmas I hit the motherload of DVD’s, and one of the best ideas, if I do say so myself, was telling my brother that I wanted the Garden State/Say Anything combo pack from target.  He bought it and I just watched Garden State.  Great idea, great movie, great life-changing moment.

So I have always liked Garden State well enough, saw it a few times here and there, but the times were few and far between.  I asked for it for Christmas because it had been several years since I’ve seen it and I was kind of thinking “oh yeah, that’s a good movie I should own it…”  Anyway, since it has been so long, for one I had forgotten why I liked it so much.  What’s more, now that it’s been a few years since it came out (it came out the year I graduate high school), I was a little bit removed from the story.  Now, I am the same age as the main characters, and holy crap, I LOVE the movie so much more!!  I dont’ know if it’s because I feel like I can relate to the story better now that I am oh so familiar with this “quarter-life crisis” thing or what, but I am all sorts of up in arms and ready to change my world.

I think what I like the most is the ending, if you can really call it that.  I LOVE that it is so open-ended.  “…So what do we do?”  Whatever we want!  I feel like I have so many things that I still need to figure out, so many things that I need to decide, so many things to do, but damnit, I WANT to go somewhere that’s not here.  I’m not talking geographically, I’m not talking physically, but I want to do new things, create new, unique moments. I want to live my life.  I think this might have been a right place right time scenario with the movie.  I have been talking about changing things up and doing new things for a long time, but tonight have the gumption…

Every year and the end of December I always get really pensive.  I always think about the year that’s ending and the year that’s to come.  I always have the same high hopes, the same happy-go-lucky ideas about the “best year yet…” but since I’ve gone back to school for my master’s degree, 2011 turned out to be about the same as 2010, which turned out to be about the same as 2009.  2012, however HAS to be different.  I will defend my master’s thesis in January and commit to an extensive job search in Kansas City and Johnson County.  I will graduate in May.  I will have an MA next to my name in just a few short months!  I will get a big girl job.  I will move out of the parents’ house… This list goes on.  I have been itchin for so freakin long, and for the first time in a long time I can taste it and I’m ready for it!  All I have to do is act on it.

So has Garden State changed my life, or is my life changing so Garden State resonated with me more than it did the last time I saw it?  Not sure which is a more accurate description.  My point is this: 2012 WILL be new.  So what do we do?…

Christmas Week

Christmas Break is upon us and I have been trying to get myself into the Christmas spirit.  I talked last entry about wanting to make a photo project about the Christmas lights in the neighborhood.  I tried.  I seriously drove around the neighborhood at like 9:00 at night with my camera at the ready.  It was kind of a fail, not only because it’s hard to drive and take pictures at the same time, but because I really felt like a creeper =/ I didnt’ want my neighbors to think I was some kind of stalker or something so I only took a few pictures and then just drove around to admire the lights for myself.  One of my favorite scenes (which I didnt’ get a picture of) was a house that had a boat in the driveway.  The “ropes” for the sail were strung in blue lights, and there were 3 penguins in the back that looked like they were driving around in the boat.  Hillarious!  Anyway, here are a few pics that turned out ok.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Sunday night a few of the other grad students and I got together for dinner at one of the grad students’ house.  I got REALLY excited about it.  I realized that this was the equivalent to my office party (minus the boss and the office slut and everything.  haha).  Anyway, it was SUPER nice to get together, have some wine, good conversation, good food, and hang out without having to discuss school.  It was really nice.

THEN, yesterday, I kind of when nuts.  I watched Home Alone AND Home Alone 2, all while baking and decorating sugar cookies.  It was kind of fun to decroate everything, but it was just me.  The parents were at work, my brother was sequestered in his room doing whatever it is that he does up there, so it was kind of a lonely afternoon, but at least I had cookies to show for it.  There aren’t many left.  Here’s a pic of my faves that are still waiting to be eaten.

Add that to all of the Christmas decorations inside our house and my boxing Rudolph pen and I am set!

It’s hard to believe that Christmas is, what, 5 days away…Where has December gone?  Where has the year gone for that matter?  I am trying to be in the moment and enjoy this holiday season.  It hasn’t been difficult because my delight threshold has become increasingly low. haha.  I guess in all seriousness, I’m cautiously excited for Christmas.  I still have a lot to think about, a lot to figure out, a lot to do, before the first of the year.  I figure I deserve a few days to relax and enjoy myself, so I’m going to take them, damnit!

So there it is.  Merry Christmas week!

December Update

Whew, I feel like I’ve been running a marathon this month!!  I haven’t updated recently, but a lot of things have been happening.  First and foremost, I am about 110% sure that my thesis is DONE!!!  Cover to cover, I have written 100 pages of thesis.  This weekend I am waiting for one of my professors to read it over and give me comments.  Once I have those comments, I’ll have have a week or so to work on them and move around a few things. Then by December 22, I will have the final FINAL draft to send out to my committee.  My defense is officially scheduled for January 10.  After that, I am a master! I’m so FREAKIN excited I don’ t know what to do with myself!!!  I have been working so long and so hard that it’s kind of awesome to see the finish line so close.  I’ll have so much free time when I’m finished, it’ll be amazing!

In addition to the thesis, it has been kind of a crazy month with the family.  My bro came home for Thanksgiving break and on the way his car died.  All out died, needs a new engine, is totally dead.  I picked him up from the side of the highway, the parents were able to get $150 off of the car and now my brother is carless.  Mom picked him up from campus last weekend so now over Christmas break, there are 4 people in the house sharing only 2 cars.  It’s kind of interesting.  It hasn’t been a big issue so far (although my bro has my car tonight because he’s at work), but I know it sucks for him because he feels like a huge burden.  It’s a little wierd for me because the parents haven’t been available when Danny needs to go places so taking my bro around kind of falls onto my shoulders.  Oh well, it is what it is.  We’re broke, but we’re managing.

In other news, Christmas is in like 9 days!  When the hell did that happen!!?  This year, I have been working  very hard to get into the Christmas spirit.  The Christmas presents I bought last week are already wrapped and are the only presents under the tree.  I have been watching all kinds of crappy, sappy, Hallmark Christmas movies.  Since the beginning of December, everytime I go shopping, I buy some eggnog.  When the bro and I were at Target and WalMart yesterday, we bought Giradelli peppermint bark, holiday flavors of hot chocolate, chocolate oranges, and mint chocolate cookies.  I have been so stressed out with my thesis over the last couple of weeks that I am really trying to enjoy the holiday season.  Between now and Christmas I am considering a photo project of sorts.  There are some aweosme decorations around the neighborhood every year, and a bunch of people go all out.  I’m thinking I might bring my camera around and see if I can get any good pictures.  That’s just a thought, a whim really.  More on that later.

Ok, now that I’ve bored you to death with my boring life update, I think I’ll partake of some of that hot chocolate or a cookie.  More later, I promise.  Stefanie out!

Missions Accomplished: #50 and #57

I realized this afternoon that I have a few updates to my 100 things list.  Of course I have been bad about updating, so here goes nothing.

#50: Month of New Things

I haven’t made this one official yet.  I’ve already blogged about this along the way, but one of the things on my 100 things list was to do something to change up my routine every day for one month.  I made October that month and for 31 days I did little things here and there to get out of my everyday routine and try new things.  This was actually more difficult than I thought it would be.  Mostly because, while I get tired of my day-to-day schedule, right now it seems to be working.  My main goal right now is to work on and finish my thesis.  I have a routine to get that done that involves spending a lot of time at the computer and a lot of time getting stressed out.  I know I already said this, but last week I emailed 80 pgs of stuff to my professor to look over and give me feedback on.  I think that’s pretty damn productive!  I had (and still have) a laundry list of things that sound like good ideas: have a picnic lunch on campus, go out to lunch with friends, go for a walk in the middle of the afternoon, listen to different music, start a meal with desert, the list goes on.  The problem with these ideas is that they take away time that I could be devoting to being productive on my thesis.  It was difficult to fit in all of these routine-changing things into my “Get My Thesis DONE” schedule.  I am still going to try and do some of these things, and maybe in a few months it will be easier to be a little more exciting.  I call #50 completed, but it could have been better.  What I learned from the whole experience is that to some degree, routines are a good thing when you are a college student.  I might try to do the one month routine change-up again once things at school settle down.  I’m expecting 2012 to be a big year, so maybe 2012 will be a bigger and better routine change up since my routine is going to have to change anyway… We’ll see how it goes.  As always, I’m eternally optimistic.

#57: White Tights

This is another one of the things on my 100 things list that is kind of silly, but also one that is not that difficult to accomplish.  Last year I bought a pair of black knee-high boots and have been on the lookout for a pair of white tights to wear with them.  I have seriously looked EVERYWHERE and apparently girls that are not a size small/medium are not supposed to wear white tights.  I went to target yesterday with the intention of buying practical stuff like shave gel for my legs and dental floss and I ended up spending $75 on a bunch of stuff that I don’t really need.  Story of my life… Anyway, I FINALLY found a pair of white tights in my size and gosh darnit you can imagine I snatched them up right then!  I’m already planning outfits and thinking about the skirts I can wear my new tights with.  Of course in an ideal world I could go out and buy a few new skirts.  Again, story of my life.  Anyway, white tights accomlished baby!

So there you have it.  A few more checkmarks on my 100 things list, and of course many more things to go.  This week I’m housesitting for my aunt and uncle (who are on vacation in Hawaii, lucky ducks!) so I’m a little out of my element.  I have a huge house all to myself with a couple of dogs and I dont quite know what to do.  What do I do when I’m at my own house?  I dont’ know, but I am sure having trouble keeping myself entertained here where there is no one to talk to but a couple of dogs who have no idea what I’m saying to them.  Should be an entertaining week.  Updates to come I”m sure.

November Update

I feel like I need to write a little something, but I haven’t been very inspired over the last couple of weeks.  Since Halloween, I have been in thesis mode.  I have done nothing but type and retype, edit and re-edit, think and rethink EVERYTHING I have written for my thesis.  I worked on it every day last week and I have to say as much as I like my topic, I am really freakin tired of working on it.  I have been working on everything in chunks and spent yesterday combining everything into one, nice, pretty document.  I have typed 75 PAGES of stuff for my thesis.  80 if you count my workes cited.  That’s a whole lot of stuff!!  I have gone over it a million times and decided to send it to my professor today so that she can look over it over the next couple of weeks.  My thesis and I are taking a break.  I’m sure we’ll get back together during Thanksgiving break so that I can change it all over again, but for now we’re on a break, and I am totally happy with that decision.

Other than thesis stresses, I have been trying to get excited for the holidays.  It’s November, which means that I start getting nostalgic about what has happened over the last year and I start thinking ahead to next year.  Plus, I am SUPER excited for Thanksgiving break this year.  I love me some turkey and mashed potatoes…and stuffing, and pumkpin pie.  Basically I just want an excuse to eat a lot without consequence.  haha.  The holidays should also be pretty special because my cousins babies are going to be 6 months old ish.  They were born in June and they are so freaking cute!  It’ll be nice to have these new family members to spend time with.  Kids are cute   Holy crap, just realized that it was last thanksgiving when we found out that my cousin was pregnant with her twins.  Now they’re getting huge and showing their personalities.  How time flies…

I am also trying to figure out my plan of action as far as Christmas.  Every year I like to do something special.  Not only something special for the parents or my brother, but I like to spend some extra time with friends or bake cookies or something.  I already have a young adult christmas party planned with some people from church and a grad student christmas party with the other grad students in the program on the calendar.  Plus I kind of want to have a special thanksgiving dinner with friends.  We did that once at Baker and it really meant a lot to me.  Not all of my Baker friends will be in town for thanksgiving, but maybe I can plan a girls night where we can hang out, eat, and bake/decorate cookies or something.  I just might have to make that happen… 

Anyway, I ramble.  My point is I’m tired of working on my thesis for now, but UBER excited to be so close to finished.  I’m gearing up for the holidays and am excited to spend time with friends and family.  With any luck, but the end of the year, my thesis will be written, my resume will be updated, and January 1 I can start the search for my big girl job!!  I’ll say it again, how time flies…

Routine Change-Up: Days 29-31

We’re rounding out the month.  Here’s what I’ve been up to the last couple of days.

Day 29: Generational Luncheon and Pseudo Halloween Party

Satruday was actually really nice.  My best friend came up with the idea that we have lunch with our grandmas.  This is the same friend with whom I made pasta for her grandma last weekend.  Anyway, my friend and her grandma got together with me, my mom, and my grandma for lunch.  We went to chipotle (which is always delicious) and it was nice to get together with the ladies, gossip a little bit, and catch up.  It’s been a while since I’ve had time to hang out with my grandma for very long.

Then I went over to another friends house to have a pseudo halloween party with a couple of my best good college friends.  I say pseudo halloween party because there were only 3 of us, and with the exception of my one friend who put on makeup and went as Black Swan, we didn’t dress up or do anything major.  Although we did get to make s’mores!!  My friend bought a firepit for his back patio so we had a fire going and roasted the most ginormous marshmellows I’ve ever seen!  I had to go home and take a shower and do laundry the next day because I smelled like arson, but it was worth it.  Great night to be outside next to the fire.  It was nice to get to hang out with them for the evening, even if it was super low key.

Day 30: Work Day Sunday

Yesterday in lieu of my usual sunday starbucks and homework run, I drove to campus and worked on my thesis for a couple of hours.  B-O-R-I-N-G!!  Not the way I wanted to spend my sunday afternoon, but I am kind of stressin because my advisor is “concerned” about whether or not I can get everything finished by the end of the semester. Boo!!  Anyway, got some stuff started, edited some other stuff, and I’m planning on finishing up what I’m working on before I leave campus at the end of the.

Day 31: Happy Halloween??

Then there’s today… I”m kind of in a funky funk.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m stressed about all of this stuff I need to turn in to my advisor and the grading I just remembered I need to do before tomorrow, or because maybe I didnt’ sleep well or what but it’s funky in here and I don’t like it!  This year is kind of wierd because 1) All I can think about is how much homework I have to do, and 2) My parents are not handing out candy this year.  What the hell!?  We are going to be the dark house on the corner that won’t answer the door for the cute little fairy of the lady bug!  Granted I am fully capable of going out and buying candy and handing it out myself, but I am seriously stressin about getting all of these edits done that I’m just not in the mood.  I’m not in the mood. That NEVER happens.  What the hell is going on with me today?

So there you have it.  31 days of routine change-ups.  I’ll have a beter reflection on all that when I don’t need to get off the internet and get to work.   Anyway, hopefully I’ll get into the Halloween spirit, or at least come up with something to do when I finish up at school to distract myself into thinking I’m not in such a funky funk.  Happy Halloween, you crazy ghouls and goblins!  Stay safe

Routine Change-Up: Days 26-28

Day 26: Coffee? Yes Please!

Wednesday was a rough day for me.  I think I was so amped up on Tuesday’s awesomeness that I didn’t get to bed early enough and I had a hard time getting going.  They recently redid the library at UMKC and added a new little coffeeshop/bakery area that serves coffee from the Roasterie.  I have become increasingly interested in supporting local products, and I really like coffee, so I made  a trip the the library for a cup of dark roast.  12oz cost me $1.85.  Uh, yes please!  I should stop by the library more often, it was tasty, warm, and delicious!

 

Day 27: Vampire WTF??

I dont’ know if this counts, but it’s worth writing about.  Yesterday was Vamprire Diaries day.  The only show I watch regularly that I get really pissed if I miss it is Vampire Diaries.  I know this is wierd.  I am 25 and I’m obsessed with a show meant for 14-yr-olds.  Anyway, last night’s episode was a little crazy, even for me! and that’s sayin something!  There have been some crazy things going on in Mystic Falls, and in the last season/season and a half of Vampire Diaries has introduced us to vampires (duh), werewolves, witches, warlocks, ghosts, hybrid vampire-werewolf combos PLUS last night there were ghost vampires, and ghost werewolves.  Even I had to say WTF man!  The ghosts were invisible except to this one dude who had died and was then brought back to life, but all of a sudden the witch named Bonnie did a spell to give all of the ghosts a “foothold” on our side so then everyone could see them and it was crazy and I was confused.  But now the ghosts and the ghost vamps/werewolves lost their foothold and nobody can see them anymore.  I feel like I lost braincells just typing about this!   What the hell does this say about kids these days?  What the hell does this say about me?  I have problems…

 

Day 28: I am the Costume Master!

So, dont’ know if you’ve heard, but Halloween is coming up.  My parents were invited to a Halloween party with some people from church tonight and wanted some cheap and easy costume ideas that they could throw together.  I gave them a couple of suggestions that I’ve found over the years and they actually took them!  Mom was a cereal killer, stabbing a box of rasin bran with plastic knives, and Dad was a ceiling fan.  His sign says “Way to go celing! You can do it! I”m behind you all the way!”  Go Ceilings!  (get it? A fan of ceilings?).  I took pictures because I seriously thought it was amusing.  I kind of felt like a proud parent sending her kids off to a Halloween party with a homemade costume.  That makes me a DORK! I like the touch Mom did with red finger nail polish around the murder weapons, allthough the picture doesn’t do it justice because you can’t see the clear plastic silverwear.  For giggles, I also looked up a picture of my days as a ceiling fan senior year.  Man I’m a dork!  But I must be good at the cheap and easy costume thing

Happy Halloweekend!

Routine Change-Up: Day 25

Bust it out!

This may not be so much a routine change-up thing as it is an awesome day thing, but I feel like it should count.  I have been working on turning in a huge chunk of stuff to my advisor for a while now.  I have been working on three different sections of my thesis individually, I have edited those sections a million times, and yesterday I combined everything I have written into one nice, neat, HUGE document to send to my advisor so she can look it over.  I turned in 55 pages in total, wrote an intro, lit review, and methods section.  Not to mention my works cited and an abstract.  I finished that yesterday and started on the second half of my thesis, which is data analysis.  It’s a fancy word for the fact that I am going to read a bunch of profiles on Match.com.  (which is secretly fun even though I’m doing ‘research’).  I didn’t have to go to my professor’s class this afternoon so I started busting that out.  So far I have around 10 pages typed of that.  I am pretty sure I can finish another huge chunk of it (if not the whole thing) tomorrow, and then I’ll only have one more section to work on!  The end is so friggin close I can taste it!

Add all of my thesis accomplishments to the fact that the chair told me this morning that I will be able to stay on as a TA next semester and I am a SUPER happy camper!  That FREAK OUT is over!  That means I can focus on thesis until the end of the year, I still have a job starting in January and I have a little bit of a cushion that will give me time to search for my big girl job and then I can *hopefully if the world is good* have a real job lined up starting next summer.  This is seriously a HUGE weight off my shoulders because I have been freaking out about what I was going to do to pay my bills and how I was going to get by.  Things are moving and I am so freakin ready to move along with them.  In 8 or 9 months I’m going be in a totally different, exciting, AWESOME place and I am sure as dirt gonna work on getting there!

So I don’t necessarily consider today something completely different from my normal routine lately, but I am more motivated than I was yesterday, I’m working hard, and I can definately see the light at the end of the tunnel!  Happy Tuesday, Here’s to a productive Wednesday too!

Routine Change-Up: Days 21-24

Shock me shock me, I’m behind on updating again.  It’s actually been a pretty good weekend.  Here goes.

Day 21: Dinner for Grandma

Friday night I got to hang out with my bestest friend.  I picked her up from work and we went to the grocery st0re to get stuff to make for dinner.  My friend and her Grandma are housesitting for her parents (really they’re just hanging out with the dog) for a week so my friend thought it’d be fun to get together and have dinner.  My friend and I made pasta with alfredo sauce, garlic bread and caesar salad.  It was delicious!  I ate two platefulls My friend told her grandma to stay out of the kitchen so we did all of the cooking.  Of course Grandma thought it was “so sweet” that we cooked dinner for her.  In the end, it was just nice to hang out, relax, eat a lot, and enjoy Friday night.

Day 22: Shopping Palooza

My mom has lost darn near 60 pounds doing weight watchers.  It’s SUPER exciting for her, but she’s been frustrated because she is still trying to lose weight but none of her clothes fit (they’re all too big).  She decided to go shopping at Kohls because she had a coupon.  I, lover of shopping that I am, volunteered to go with her.  It’s really cool because my mom has been wearing her big baggy clothes for a while now and hasn’t bought much in her new size.  She looks REALLY good and actually got to buy stuff in the regular misses department instead of the plus size (or fat lady as my mom calls it) section.  We shopped for about an hour and a half.  With the coupon, power hour sales, and clearance merchandise, my mom got almost $400 worth of clothes for…drumroll please… $140!  If that’s not AWESOME, I don’t know what is!  I think she ended up with two pairs of pants, three sweaters, two shirts, and a tank top.  For $140!! And we did it all in less than two hours.  I shoudl remember Kohls next time I need to save a few bucks on clothes…That’s power shopping to the Max!

Day 23: Bible Study

At church we have been trying to get a young adult group going.  There are always scheduling conflicts and low turn outs so not much has been happening since out mission trip in August.  We decided to have a sort of bible study thing last night.  There were only 4 of us that showed up.  Again, low turn out, but it was nice to get together and see people I haven’t seen in a while.  There’s a website called the Wired Word that takes recent news storys and sort of brings in little bible verses into discussion.  I am not the hugest fan of the Bible Study, but it was cool that we are able to talk about current events instead of just reading the bible.  We talked about the shoot-out at an Amish school that happend a while ago.  A guy, for an unknown reason, barged into an Amish school house and opend fire before killing himself.  The donations that the Amish received to help them after the tragedy were collected and given to the family of the man who killed the girls at the school house.  The Amish community decided that they didn’t need the money and they chose to help the man’s wife and kids, who had no idea what the man was going through.  We talked about forgiveness.  It was kind of interesting, but it would have been nicer to get a bigger group going.  We’ll see how it pans out.  For the evening though, it was nice to get out of the house.

Day 24: Einstein Bros

Today, as we speak as a matter of fact, I made a trip next door to the Einstein Brothers here on campus.  I haven’t gone there in a million years.  Well since last semester anyway.  I got an asiago bagel with salmon cream cheese and a chocolate chunk cookie.  Yum!  I have been bringing my lunch to school all semester and it is a nice change of pace to have a warm toasted bagel.  I won’t make this an everyday thing by any means, but here and there I should remind myself of how freakin delicious Einstein Bros is.

So there you have it.  It’s apparently all about food and spending money, but you gotta do what you gotta do.  I’m trying to keep on top of things this week, but you know how it goes.  Now I’m back to work.  I’m just about ready to send a crap load of stuff to my advisor to see what she thinks.  Wish me luck!  Happy Monday!